Sunday, August 21, 2016

a return to water

She was still pregnant and he had left her for another woman. Shocked by his duplicity and so lightly done. A twilit landscape. A coastal town. Like a mad woman without words, out beyond language,  she clawed at the sea wall. Held back and down to frustrate this lethal compulsion - a return to water.

Another night. I dreamt that I was pregnant or that something was happening inside me, my tummy steadily and slowly expanding. No kicks or movement though and it seemed to me that there was no human life inside, only emptiness or a growing silence.

We were to have one therapy session a month in a public space - in what could have been a public library, a bookshop or a junk shop. No customers but their potential and no books that I cared to read (thank you very much). Three places; one where you borrow things that are not your own, one where you buy new things that become your own and one that holds lots of old things belonging to other people, he pointed out.